Biblical Marriage

I believe this is every Christian’s favorite topic to discuss. Why? For the Christian’s reading, think back to all the sermons you’ve heard on marriage. Think back to all the books you’ve read/been recommended on marriage. Think back to how many guys say, “I want a Proverbs 31 woman,” and all the girls who say, “I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman.” For us Christians, we likely gave up counting very quickly. What we’ve certainly heard more than any of these is this unique phrase, “Don’t be unequally yoked.”

This line comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not become partners with those who do not believe, for what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship does light have with darkness?” (NET) This concept has been the driving force behind many churches throughout the years, “Do not marry a non-believer.” But is this truly what the Bible says? I don’t believe that is the case, and I hope I am able to provide a convincing argument over the course of this article.

Starting with the word, “partners,” in the passage above. “Partners,” does not mean romantic partner. In fact, it is a much more general term. It means do not fellowship with non-believers in general. Now, either Paul is contradicting his entire ministry up to this point by telling the Corinthians not to associate with people who aren’t followers of Christ, or we aren’t meant to understand this verse in such a Fundamentalist manner. As it is obvious that Paul fellowshipped, not only with Jews, but also the Gentiles who were CERTAINLY unbelievers. Jesus also spent much time fellowshipping with those considered morally inferior, stating that it is to the sick which a doctor comes. So reading this passage as being about not mingling with unbelievers is absurd.

Based on my above reasoning, it is also absurd to believe that Paul only intends for us to mingle for the sake of attempting to share a tract about Christ before retreating back to our respective faith communities (as the Jehovah’s Witnesses do). The Christian community was so incredibly small at this time, that one had to fraternize with non-believers. What Paul is actually getting at is outlined in the phrase, “those who do not believe.” This translation is a little rough, but so are most. The NRSV, HCSB, ESV, and even Young’s Literal translate it as, “unbeliever,” but the original Greek can easily be translated to, “faithless.” I think this term is much better, as I believe Paul is actually speaking against those who are in the Christian community but don’t live like Christians.

This reading would also line-up with how Jesus acted in the gospels. He did not spend much of his time preaching to non-Jews and calling them out for their sins. Rather, he spoke against the people of Israel for being liars and hypocrites. In Acts it is the same situation. The deaths of Ananias and Sapphira were due to their hypocrisy before Peter, and when Paul preached before Gentiles he did not call out their sins but shared the good news of Christ’s arrival. In fact, all of Paul’s letters are instructions on how to live a Godly life, and most of them calls out wrong doing in the church he is writing to. It is quite reasonable then to interpret Paul’s words in this passage to mean not to affiliate with the “faithless” in the community, the “hypocrites,” who claim God but do not trust in him.

What, then, does this have to do with marriage? Nothing. That is the point of mentioning it. I know many will read this article and immediately turn to 2 Corinthians 6 to shoot down what I am about to say on marriage. I had to write an entire treatise on 2 Corinthians 6, first, before I actually discuss biblical marriage.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul outlines his recommendations for marriage. And I can’t stress this enough, some of these precepts he recommends are just that, his own opinion on the matter. Most notably, in 1 Corinthians 7:25-26, “…I have no command from the Lord, but I give my opinion as one shown mercy by the Lord to be trustworthy. Because of the impending crisis I think it best for you to remain as you are [unmarried].” (NET) This provides amazing context for this chapter and Christian marriage. Many view celibacy and virginity as a virtue because Paul remained celibate his whole life. It is apparent, however, that he only “recommended” it to others due to the, “impending crisis.” What is this crisis? None other than Christ’s immediate return. However, as we know Christ did not return in the days of Paul and is still yet to return, I believe we are free to let go Paul’s “recommendation” of celibacy.

What then, in 1 Corinthians 7, does Paul describe as a command from God? Not much, in fact. In 1 Corinthians 7:10 Paul states that God commands one to remain married and not divorce. In the following verse, however, Paul “recommends” that one remain married with an unbelieving spouse. I believe it is apparent in this moment to Paul that romantic relations between Christians and non-Christians is a wholly unique concept that requires new “recommendations.” The most telling part about this chapter, is that 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, contrary to popular belief, does not imply Paul is recommending a Christian only marry another Christian. Why would he? There are so few Christians already, that to avoid sexual impurity would be near impossible for many of the men and women in the community (sexual impurities which likely referred to prostitution and adultery).

Lastly, and this is the most crucial part to the topic of biblical marriage, Paul seems to state that a non-Christian spouse (and one’s children) is covered by their spouses belief. In 1 Corinthians 7:14 it says, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.” (NET) These terms, “sanctified, ” and, “holy,” translate as, “being free from the guilt of sin,” everywhere else it is used by Paul across his letters, why would it not mean that now? In verse 16, Paul states it is the duty of the believing spouse to be the instrument of salvation to their unbelieving spouse (once they are married).

Am I saying that Christians should then “missionary marry” and seek out unbelievers in an attempt to rescue them from the jaws of hell? I hope by my previous articles it is apparent this is not my position. Rather, I am saying that Christians may marry as they please, and they are not railroaded into only marrying other Christians. Would marrying a non-Christian cause strife and division? Possibly. But if the two individuals are able to work out their differences in belief, then a most beautiful and Godly relationship will result (even if the unbelieving spouse remains a non-believer). And perhaps being married to a non-believer does result in one being saved. Based on my interpretations of the Bible and proclivity to purgatorial universalism, I believe being a Godly example to an unbelieving spouse can lead to restoration in their life so that they may avoid the cleansing fire in death.